Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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