Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
