no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
