Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
