you mean i was at the winter classic?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
