Four minutes until I can fart!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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