so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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