we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
