i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
