i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
