yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
