highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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