Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
