I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
