what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
