The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
