I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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