I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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