I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
