I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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