My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
