watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
