How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
soo... how was my night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
