dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
