it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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