I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
