New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
