Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
