I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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