My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
