I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am spending my child support on dildos
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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