OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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