We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
