so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
