im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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