i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
