i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
