If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
