Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
