we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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