Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
