VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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