help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
