god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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