No awkward lesbian experiences without me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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