Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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