i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
