How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
