just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
