No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
