O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
