My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
