You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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