there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
