Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize