At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
